"Grace Marie" Oil on Canvas 14x11, 2016-17
When I think back at my childhood and whatnot I am always met with the cringe-inducing memories of my abuse towards my youngest sister. I never had a legitimate reason for it, but i guess my pride stopped me from ever making up with her. Instead, I spent years ignoring, insulting, and taking my anger out on her. Eventually I saw what I was doing was hurting her longterm. It went beyond simple sibling squabble. I was turning into an adult and she was becoming a young woman, getting into all the trouble one does as a teen in a small town. I wanted to help her but she was afraid of me. I saw that she wasn't a stupid fat kid, but that she was a beautiful girl lost in our wake of abuse.
Over time she grew up and out of her rebellious stage and changed her ways. I wanted to express my feelings of pride for her in the only way I really knew how, and that was through my art. I had never actually attempted a painted portrait before or even real in-depth work with oil paints or color. I was glad I attempted it because the end result is something that I can say has changed my life. I started painting the piece in September of 2016, which was around the time I hit a harsh emotional breakdown. The painting was almost half done, I was working on it one stroke at a time, often never at all. By December it was about 2/3rds done when I learned I was pregnant with my first baby. On top of coming down off the breakdown, I couldn't focus. I was't ready for a baby.
The painting sat for the next 9 months, barely touched in that time. We moved, welcomed the baby into the world, and about two weeks later I found the push to finish. It was like I was sick for 9 months and magically cured. it took me maybe three days to get it done and FINALLY it was ready for the world.
I suppose it is a case of the mushroom, something beautiful growing up out of decay. It was after that that I began working on my art as much as I possibly could. I recently decided I would throw out the idea of going to college for a "real" job, but will instead work toward attending art school within the next year, year and a half. With that in mind, I owe my sister a great deal, even if she doesn't realize the intent behind the painting.
About the process:
I worked wet on wet on this piece, in sections. Mind you, I am entirely self-taught and have no idea what I am doing half the time. I found the hair my favorite part of the whole thing to paint. my sister has blue eyes so I originally painted the background light blue but I felt it left the colors kind of washed out so about halfway through the piece I switched it to the jewel tone green. I think I used phthalo green. It has become a standard of mine to add a rich jewel tone to the backgrounds. I think my subjects usually look kind of dull, but the vibrant colors really bring it all together. I blended everything together as much as I could without things getting muddy.
I have OCD which usually manifests as compulsive hand washing and gloves, but translated into my art I guess it is bitter sweet. On one hand everything has to be just right or my skin crawls until I fix it; on the other I spend hours tediously going over the same area 10 million times. Art has always been something I've used as a sort of outlet for my anxiety.
I finished the painting with a gold acrylic paint around the edges of the canvas. I like to do that for all of my paintings. I add a complimenting metallic acrylic around the edges in the place of a frame. It looks really nice when hung on the wall.
Well, in the words of Forrest Gump: That's all I've got to say about that. If you want to see more of my work, or contribute to my GoFundMe page, you can check out my website at: Https://Cheyenneklinearts.weebly.com. I also have a Facebook page and Instagram- KillerKline
Thanks for checking in!
-Cheyenne
